the longest night of my life

(i am writing this while high, so forgive me if it's poorly spelled and rambling)

so it's the last night of the drive. the money's been raised (mostly), more importantly the word's been given, i can go home tomorrow. it will be exactly 6 weeks tomorrow that i started this bitch. so we decide to take it easy today. there's a guy, our collector (the guy who picks up the checks we get people to put out for us) who we haven't told that we're leaving so he doesn't get pissed and quit on us. yeah, i know, douchy, but this guy's a racist prick so i don't feel too bad. (he actually called obama a cotten picker), besides which, i pay him well. so anyway, we come in at the normal time, 9 am, our plan originally was to work till noon then we would pick up some bbq from this local place called clems that is out of this fucking world good. we were gonna spend the afternoon smoking and eating till dude got back, at which point we'd pay him, lay him off, and go back to the room for the night. hold on, gotta watch squidbillies. sweet, it's the one where rusty and early sell their souls to satan so they can rock on guitar. i like the power ballad. anyways, so yesterday, as we are making these plans, we notice a car pulling up into the lodge driveway, it's some lady, looked like she was in her 60's. turns out it's the sister of the president of the association. she informs us the president's on his way. so he shows up, he's a nice guy actually. he mentions that he's gonna be there today as well. so much for plan A. so basically we did everything the same, except we told the collector to go home and bring the money in tomorrow morning. then we went back to my room to smoke/eat pork (not a euphamism, this bbq was beyond description good). so this all wraps up around 2 pm, which leaves me with nothing to do for the rest of the day, but i can't leave until tomorrow. yar. so i take some melatonin, sleep for a couple hours. order some mexican food. around 9 pm i was pulling my hair out with boredom. suddenly, something i had been thinking about but never really committed to doing, going to see the watchmen movie finally, actually seemed like a possibility. turns out only one theatre in state college still has it on a screen, and the last show was in 20 minutes. so i threw on some pants and headed out before i could think about it too much. as i expected, it was a pretty empty theatre, probably 10 people in there total.

so watchmen the movie. ...was interesting. obviously it couldn't be as detailed as the book, but you can tell everyone involved clearly loved the source material. so much so that i think anyone who hasn't read the book will find it unbelievably boring. i suppose that's the problem with creating movies of sacred cow type graphic novels. in a comic, action is told through still shots and motion lines, it's the dialogue and the story telling that really shine. in a movie, specifically this genre of movie, dialogue is movie death. so all the action in movies like this (also 300 and sin city, also done by zach snyder i believe) is done in spurts with slow motion beauty shots in between, specifically creating slow moving versions of the panels of the novel. so that's all well and good, except in a story like watchmen, which is about much more than just killing people, it feels very slow. as someone who read and enjoyed, but does not love the source material, it was good, but not great.

so now i'm back in the room, bored again. some guy downstairs at the motel kept calling me jaime and asking me if i was going to a party. i'm not sure if he was drunk, or a pimp trying to interest me in the girl standing behind him, or possibly both. either way, i just wanted to get back in and get to bed. so i smoked a bit and here we are. goodnight everybody, i'm gonna get some shut eye and then tomorrow, I'M GOING HOME, BITCHES!

i swear, it looks like she lost her keys

what happens in state college uh, i guess everyone gets to know about

so yesterday there was a lodge meeting at the place where we are fundraising from, which meant, instead of our normal, spend 12 hours working, we just spent about 7 hours working then left the cops to their own devices. so we stopped at the giant on the way back to the motel so we could load up on crap for an evening of weed and junkfood, you know, like ya do. so as i'm leaving the car and walking into the store, i notice that in the car parked directly in front of us is a young couple, looked like college age, which would make sense, slumped way down in their seats. i made a joke to J about maybe she's giving him a handy or something but really didn't think much of it. so i go in, grab a couple items, and leave rather quickly. J takes a good 5-10 minutes longer. as i'm waiting in the car, i can help but notice that things seem to be heating up in the car right in front of me. (and i mean, parked like a foot from my bumper, facing me, i'm not a stalker here, folks. also, this was like 3 spaces from the front of the lot, not in the back, this was 5:30 pm in a crowded parking lot). so i see them kissing a bit, and she climbs over him and straddles him, which is funny cause her ass hits the car horn. they kiss a bit and then she climbs off him and leans her back agains the dashboard on her side and slumps down. now i don't know what was going on beneath the dash level, but a couple minutes later, she puts up the hood of her striped sweatshirt, kneels in her seat and i watch her head moving up and down in his lap, or rather, the back of her head. so now she's alternating between clearly tugging this guy's johnson and giving him a fairly public blow job. i didn't know what to do, i mean, i'm not against public indecency, and i'm all for this dude getting his rocks off with this cute chick, it would have been nice of him to share or something, but i get it. so yeah, J gets back in the car, this prompts the two of them to notice that i've been sitting there the whole time, she looks kinda embarrassed, but not that much, really. we drive off and leave them to their canoodling. i'm told this sort of thing happens all the time around here. i guess going to a small college like i did, there was plenty of room for couples to have sex in places that weren't right in front of me. I would just like to say for the record that i approve of this kind of behavior and, within reason, would appreciate a repeat performance. if there's any hot lesbians who wanna eat eachother out on the hood of their car (or my car, fuck it) in public, please drop me a line so i know where and when to be there. no fatties.

hmmm

so i finished the watchmen book this morning. yes, i know it's the kind of book you can read in one sitting but i work 84 hours a week so fuck you. anyways, wow. good book. i'm really curious what changes zack snyder made with the movie. i've heard they changed ozymandias' constume, which makes sense cause he looks rather dated in the comic book. i also heard they changed the end. i guess i can understand why. (spoilers from 1986 to follow!) the big disaster at the end, while it is certainly horrifying in that it kills millions of people, or "half new york", but really it's just this kinda dumb looking squid monster that pretty much dies as soon as it arrives. while i guess this works for a comic book, and yes, it does because the story isn't supposed to be about what's the most dramatic way to kill half of new york, for a movie, i understand they'd have to change that in order to appeal to more than just fanboys. i've heard from people (fans of the book type people) that they do very well by the book while still making it an enjoyable movie. the worst i've heard about it is that it's a little boring, but truth be told, how many fucking actions scenes do you need. i mean, there's movies like crank that are just action action action, fucking, action action action, and frankly, that gets boring. the action, not the fucking. i love that scene where jason stathem fucks his woman right there in public just to keep his heart racing. but yeah, did we really need a sequal to that? i mean, come on, i saw a preview for the new crank, and it seems ol' stathem's gone and got himself in trouble again. it seems someone's removed his heart and replaced it with a failing electric one, or some kind of thing on his heart so he has to keep electrocuting himself. um. really?

i seem to have gone off on a tangent. anyway, i think the most fascinating parts of watchmen are the stories about how these people became who they are, not the dr manhatten so much, though i would love to explore his adventures some more, and no, that has nothing to do with his blue schlong hanging out all the time. the interesting stories are those of rorschach and the comedian. people with obvious mental problems due to circumstances beyond their control (at least in rorschach's case) and how this lifestyle bother comes from and supports those things. then you have the legacies, silk spectre and her daughter and the nite owls 1 and 2. anyways, the author created some very interesting and multi dimensional characters. i just wish there was a sequel book cause now i don't know what to read. i'll have to search through my bag and find out which books i stashed in there.

watchmen

so, i'm a dork. i enjoy star trek, star wars, star other things, and i read a lot. i am not, however, a comic book geek. not that there's anything wrong with that, some of my best friends enjoy the comic books. i do tend to enjoy the comic book movies, well, some of them. i enjoyed the first spiderman, though 2 was eh and 3 sucked anus, though that had more to do with my dislike of toby mcguire and skinny titerson's shitty acting than the story being told. i enjoyed xmen, and i really like xmen 2, xmen 3, however, while enjoyable, somewhat, doesn't hold a candle to the other two. hellboy? meh. ron pearlman is too wierd looking for me to really be able to enjoy that. i really enjoy the new batman series though. even though, as batman, christian bale seems to grunt more than talk, but whatever, posthumous or not, heath ledger's joker was fucking awesome and even batman begins wasn't bad. so yeah, all of this is to say, i enjoy comic movies, somewhat, but never really got into the source material. until now. well, actually, i suppose it started in august. i had heard that the comic nerd community had it's nuts in a vice about this movie i'd never heard of called "watchmen". it was like they were going to make Jesus: The Movie (which i suppose has been done ad nauseum, but you know what i mean). so i'm up in ithaca, visiting some college friends. we're tooling around town, and we stop by this comic book store. now, ithaca trips are where i buy most of my books for the year, there's a lot of good, cheap used book stores and i tend to load up, so i'm in book buying mode. i go into this comic book store, making it the second time in my like i've been in one. i figure, hey i enjoyed sin city, maybe i'll check out some frank miller jawn, or maybe they'll have some old doonesbury books (yes, sunday comics should be sold at comic book stores dammit). so i look at the frank miller, and, although very stylish, i don't think i could take a whole book drawn like that. then i see watchmen. i flip through it, it looks kinda cool, i knew is was something of a nerd bible, so i decided, what the hell. 20 bucks later i leave. watchmen sat in my travel bag for the next 6 months, till i came out to bumfuck PA and had nothing to do but watch a broken tv in a shitty little motel room. so i broke it out. holy shit dude. for starters, talk about dark. i mean, i guess it's not all that uncommon for comic books to be dark, adult themed if you will, but as someone who's primary exposure to comic book stuff is movies, being a hero is either about being unbelievably violent, a la sin city, or annoyingly high minded, like spiderman. to actually explore the psychology of what could possibly drive a person to dress in some ridiculous costume and exact vigilante revenge on the ills of society. it actually delves into the obvious issues of sexuality and morality associated with such endeavors. then it explores what such beings would actually do to society. how that would effect the history of the past 60 years. and you have more than just the vigilante batman type of superhero. you have the accidental super powered hero in dr manhatten who was just a regular guy until he was changed by an accident which gave him power over time, space, and matter. because he was injured in a government sponsored experiment, he was immidiately recruited by the US government for actual military use. along with a vigilante type called the comedian, he wins the vietnam war for us. he changes the balance of power during the cold war such that nuclear escalation between the USSR and america is ten times that of the real life cold war in order to compensate for dr manhatten. i haven't finished the book yet, but it's really fascinating to me how these individuals became what they became and i appreciate how the author attempt to realistically predict how that would affect history. so yeah. i really wanna see the movie now. i hear it's equally badass.

one final note, this post was written in chunks. i had to keep getting up and dealing with work stuff so that is why it's kinda rambling and repetetive. i'll try and tighten it up in the future. or maybe i won't, fuck you, it's my blog and no one reads it anyway.

Laird

So this is not going to make much sense or be very funny to at least 90% of the people who read this, but i just have to write about this somewhere. it all started a year ago. actually, i should start with a little personal info. i have a job that, for a month or two out of the year, takes me to the center of pennsylvania for business. my business cohorts and i live in motels and work 12 hours a day 7 days a week for the entire time cause all of us just want to go the fuck home. so anyway, last year, we had had a long day, and we decided to go to this bar known as the "lesbian bar" (it's actually just a fairly upscale pizza place with no glbt affilliation whatsoever, it's just that we once saw two women sitting together and, because we are drunken assholes, decided they were lesbians.) so anyway, we are at this bar and we're getting fairly ripped. now it was a rare occassion that all four of us were actually there in the first place, but that's not really the point of the story. so anyway, we're getting drunk and loud, and the conversation turns, as it so often does, to simple pleasures such as the occassional bowl of marijuana and what-not. now, at the table next to our booth was this couple in their 50's. the woman, pretty good looking in my slightly hazy recollection, overheard us and, because it was her birthday, she was celebrating and was looking to extend the party, asked us if we had any of said weed. we did, but it was back at our motel. now, my cohorts consist of four guys, myself, Curl, Crow and J. Curl, crow and i are 25, 30, and 26 respectively. J is 57. he kinda sticks out. he was also age appropriate for this woman. Anyway, she comes over, and J is trying to get her to come back to the motel with us for ...? she declines and explains that she's with her feller, who's name is LAIRD. now, we're assholes, as i previously explained so we find this slightly goofy name to be quite amusing. so that was pretty much it. they went back to their evening and we went back to our motels alone. of course, we had to bust J's balls about his almost encounter. one of the additionally amusing aspects was that none of us could remember the woman's name (it was judith) but all of us remembered Laird.
so a year goes by, we come home, we live our lives, we occassionally opine and laugh about the time we met laird, the unhappy boyfriend guy at the lesbian bar. so february rolls around and sure enough we're back in central PA in all it's bumblefuck glory. by sheer chance we are spending one night, and one night only at the same motel we stayed at all last year. and again, by sheer chance, the four of us are all there and all of us are in the mood to go to the lesbian. and once again, by sheer chance, all this happens on a saturday night, the one night we can really kick back cause sundays we sleep in a little. so we show up, grab a booth, and who's fucking sitting right there at the table next to us. yup, laird...

yar...

to be honest, i didn't recognize them (his lady was there too, along with another woman and her guy). crow, however, recognized them immidiately. because J and Curl sometimes get a little trouble maky when really trashed, he wisely only tells me about it cause i'm still fairly sober and not the type to cause trouble. at this point my fucking mind is blown. J is sinking into deep inebriation and Curl is being goofy. So we ended up buying them a round because they had provided us with a year of laughing and stupidity. they were confused. so yeah, like i said, this isn't gonna be funny or even make sense to most people, but it broke my brain for an evening and most likely will be something i don't forget for a long time.

an introduction of sorts

so my name is pance, obviously that's a nickname, but whatever. I do enjoy some porn every now and again. nothing wild, just good old fashioned fucking. Currently i am on a business trip to east bum-fuck Pennsylvania. I am doing this on an actual honest-to-goodness dial-up connection. i know, i thought they went extinct with aol too, but alas, here i am, waiting what seems like hours for simple pictures to load. Luckily i am staying at a motel that has internet access, plus i'm alone so i can get the good jerk. you know what i mean. I tell you what, nothing makes you value your time alone like spending twelve to thirteen hours a day with a bunch of farting, stinking, obnoxious guys. which is not to say that i am above such things. fart warfare is a major part of my day, i'm just saying it's nice to unwind with a bit of alone time and a good internet connection. So i don't really know where this blog is gonna go. I have a lot of interests besides porn, like strippers. haw! no, actually, strip clubs make me feel kinda uncomfortable. I am a fairly private person and whenever i go to one, i end up just getting anxious that i'm somehow tipping wrong, or not enough. obviously if you ask a stripper, she'll tell you the latter. So yeah, that's the pance.